The Other Side Of The Door
by xEmerald Isle
Summary: Trust is important in a relationship. Very important. When Cartman accuses Kyle of cheating on him with Kenny, Kyle is angry and hurt. He can't believe Cartman doesn't trust him... Oneshot. Kyman. For Soul Flash's birthday.


_**Hey, my awesome readers of Fanfiction. Sorry I haven't posted anything in forever. I'm working on two Kyman multi-chaps but I don't want to post them until they're finished. **_

_**Anyway, this is a Kyman oneshot I wrote for Soul Flash's birthday. It's really late. I'm so sorry, Soul!**_

_**I hope you all like it, especially you Soul. I worked hard on it. **_

_**By the way, this is in Kyle's POV, and there's a reason for the first part to be in italics. And this was inspired by the song 'The Other Side Of The Door' by Taylor Swift.**_

_**Enjoy! **_

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"_Kahl, are you cheating on me?" Cartman asked out of nowhere, right in the middle of a movie we were both watching in Cartman's living room, propped up together on the couch._

_Cartman had been unusually quiet for most of the day but I didn't say anything to him, for fear of his bad mood increasing._

_I turned to look at him, staring at him incredulously. "No. Where did that come from?"_

_His eyes narrowed slightly, his former relaxed expression being replaced by a cold stare. "I… I don't believe you."_

_My eyebrows shot up and my mouth dropped open slightly. "Cartman, what the hell are you talking about? Of course I'm not cheating on you. What makes you think that I-"_

"_Don't lie to me, Kahl!" he snapped, interrupting me, his tone of voice icy and almost frightening. "I know you're cheating on me with that fucking poor perverted asshole Kenny! Butters told me he saw you and Kenny eating dinner together at some fancy restaurant! You're fucking cheating on me!" he yelled, his voice loud, his eyes cold and dark._

_I stared at him, shocked. "Cartman, this is all a huge misunderstanding. I was-"_

"_I told you not to fucking lie to me, you stupid kike!" he shouted._

_At that moment, I felt a hard pain in my chest, where my heart was located. He has never called me anything like that since before we got together and even though he's said it many times before we started dating, it didn't hurt as much as it did today._

"_Don't ever call me that, asshole! It's really offensive!"_

"_So what? You deserve to be offended, you sneaky Jew! I've done everything for you. I've given you everything and done everything in my power to make sure you were happy. And then you go off and fuck Kenny behind my back! You're a fucking creep and I hate you!"_

"_Cartman, will you just listen to me? I'm not cheating on you! I would never do that!"_

"_Blow it out your ass!" he cried, interrupting me once again. "Get your filthy self away from me."_

_I lost it. My temper flared and I lost it. "Cartman, I fucking hate you so much! You never listen to me! Whenever we fight, you always suddenly think you're right, even if you're not. You don't ever give me a chance to speak and even if you did, you wouldn't bother listening. I __**hate**__ you!"_

_Without another word, I left. I left his house in a huff, feeling anger penetrate through my body while my heart ached painfully inside my chest. I marched through the snow-covered street of South Park, ignoring the cold breeze as it connected with my bare arms, sending shivers throughout my body. It was then that I realised I left my coat at Cartman's house._

_I was quickly eager to feel warm again and so I increased my speed, ending up running through the streets to reach my home, ignoring the calls and shouts from my boyfriend in the distance, yelling at me to come back. I blocked him out and ran for home._

And that's how I ended up here, in my house. In my bedroom to be more specific. Lying on my bed to be even more specific.

It's been over two hours since I ran from the Cartman residence and ended up here, feeling almost ready to explode with anger and hurt.

I've been replaying our fight in my head over a dozen times now, remembering every single detail as if watching it right in front of my eyes. I recall every word that was spoken, every tone of voice uttered, every detail memorised.

I remember how we both said we hated each other… and it sounded pretty convincing when those three words were spoken, though when I said it, I didn't mean it. I don't hate Cartman, and I never will.

No matter how many times we fight and no matter how many times he pisses me off, I will never hate him. I couldn't. He means so much to me.

I regret telling him I hate him because that really was a lie. I just wasn't thinking. That's what happens when I'm angry. I lose my ability to think before speaking.

But he said it to me too. He told me hated me first, so I guess saying it back to him was just my form of retaliation. Though I do recall saying it to him twice…

I can't help wondering if those words were true when they were coming from him. He's been so good to me since we got together. He's given me everything I could ever want, from gifts and presents to his heart and love. He's given me everything I need to make me truly happy.

I would never ever cheat on him. I couldn't. I had a good reason for bringing Kenny out to dinner that day. I wasn't cheating on Cartman. I thought he trusted me… though he obviously trusts Butters more than me.

That hurts. To know your boyfriend would rather place his trust in a 'friend' they don't even like than their own boyfriend stings. I feel a sharp pain in my chest as I think about it.

I've tried over the past hour to forget about Cartman so that I can grab some sleep to calm myself down, but I can't. I'm still so shaken up and can only think of Cartman and the fight. Nothing else seems to be allowed entry into my mind.

I reflect on our fight and I remember how angry I felt at Cartman for accusing me of such an awful thing without hearing my side of the story. I felt so hurt and angry that I actually considered breaking off our relationship there and then, ending it for good.

Now I'm happy I didn't. I would seriously regret it afterwards. Though this has been our worst fight yet since we got together, there's a part at the back of my mind telling me it'll all work out, and I did right for not breaking up with him.

I remember Stan telling me so many times after hearing Cartman and I had another fight to just break up with him and end the relationship. But I couldn't. I've told him many times that I could never break up with Cartman. He's asked me if it's because I fear Cartman, and am afraid of him hurting me if I try to break up with him. But that's not it at all.

Stan doesn't understand our relationship in the slightest. He thinks Cartman hurts me and treats me bad and I'm afraid of breaking up with him, despite the fact I've told him many times that Cartman treats me perfectly, well nearly perfectly.

Of course we were always going to have our stupid fights and arguments. That's just how we are. It doesn't mean we hate each other.

I love Cartman. I love him so much. I'd honestly give my life for him. We belong together, I know it.

I want Cartman to love me the way I love him. I want him more than anything. I know I anger and piss him off a lot, but I just want him to love me and never give up on me. Even if I anger him to the point of nearly exploding, I want him to hold onto the love he possibly has for me, and not ever let me go.

Underneath all the anger I show during our fights, I'm scared. Not scared of Cartman, but scared of losing the one person I love so much.

Cartman means everything to me. I'm always afraid that if I anger him too much, he'll realise he really does hate me and he'll leave me. I don't ever want him to leave. I couldn't go on without him.

There _was_ a time, when we were kids, where I would be celebrating if Cartman was gone from my life, but now I can't imagine life without him. It's funny how things can simply change within a few years.

My phone has been ringing a lot over the past hour or two, all from Cartman. He wants to talk to me, and I want to talk to him, but I can't. My heart aches more at the thought of talking to him again, afraid of what he's going to say. I have a feeling he's going to break up with me. He's never called me so many times after a fight before, and this was our worst fight yet. I've angered him so much, and hurt him too.

He's definitely going to break up with me. He wouldn't call so many times otherwise, and he's not the type of guy to dump someone by text.

My heart is stinging painfully inside my chest and I feel as if someone is squeezing it tightly in their hand. I can't bear the thought of Cartman breaking up with me. What could I do without him? I couldn't possibly find someone new to love. Cartman has already stolen the whole of my heart. It belongs to him now. He has the ability to rip it apart, which is what he'll do when he gets the chance to dump me.

I suddenly feel something wet on my cheeks and am surprised to find that I'm crying. I can't remember the last time I cried. Cartman has made me so happy since we got together that I've never found a reason to cry, even during our fights. They angered me more than anything else.

Now I'm crying again, after such a long time with dry eyes. My anger and hurt from today is being freed in the form of teardrops, flowing freely down my cheeks, soaking my face.

I sniff and lean back against my pillow, staring up at the ceiling before I frown suddenly, feeling something hard and uncomfortable under my pillow. I slowly sit up again and reach underneath the pillow, pulling out something I haven't seen in a long time.

My photo album.

It has pictures of childhood memories and from recent times. It basically has my whole life story inside it, but in the form of pictures.

I stop crying and wipe the remaining tears away in my sleeve before sitting up and opening the album on my lap.

The first few pages show pictures of me when I was a baby, times when I was young and free of problems. Life is so simple when you're a baby. There are no problems to sort out, no fears to face, nothing to stress over. Life is carefree and simple.

The next few pages show pictures of me and my family, from when I was a young toddler to when I was about eight.

Then it shows pictures from when I was eight to ten, showing me and my friends- Stan, Kenny and Cartman- off on our wild adventures or just outside simply playing in the snow.

We look so different now than what we looked like then. And our personalities have changed. In fact, everything about us has changed.

These pictures show me that Cartman and I really hated each other then. We're glaring at each other in a good few, or yelling at each other.

It's amazing how we've changed since then, Cartman more than the rest of us. At the age of nine, we wouldn't have even _thought_ of dating each other. We would have thrown up at the thought, but yet here we are, together, even though it doesn't look like it's going to last much longer…

I flick through the album slowly, curiously eying each picture and studying the best photos thoroughly. I stop at the last few pages and study each picture closely, my eyes barely blinking while my heart races inside my chest.

The last few pages show photos from recently, of Cartman and me together, most taken from Stan or Kenny while others were taken on a timer. Each photo is unique and different from the rest, no two pictures looking the same in any way.

There are loads of them- the two of us holding hands in the park, the two of us lying next to each other on the beach, the two of us asleep and cuddled up together on Kenny's wrecked couch, Cartman dancing with me on the street, Cartman hugging me tightly from behind me, and loads more.

My favourite one, though, is the one of us kissing each other softly on the lips at Stark's Pond in the middle of the night, the moon reflecting off the still water and casting a glorious moonlight behind us, so we're clearly seen in the glimmering light.

Looking at these pictures and memories make the thought of Cartman leaving me that more unbearable… He just means so much to me.

_Thump! Thump!_

I frown and reluctantly tear my eyes away from the album to listen for that noise again. It sounded so close.

_Thump! Thump!_

I suddenly jump when I see two pebbles hit against my bedroom window before falling to the ground again. I remove the album from my lap and make my way over to the window warily, glancing outside.

My heart leaps and then falls again when I spot Cartman in my garden, holding a pebble in his hand. He drops it when he spots me at the window and makes a gesture with his hands, telling me to open the window.

I reluctantly do as he says and I feel a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I realise this is goodbye.

Cartman stares at me as I poke my head out the window, seeming to be locking his eyes on mine, despite the distance between us.

"Kyle?"

I blink in surprise at his rare correct pronunciation of my name, though I don't say a word.

"Kyle, I… I need to tell you something. You better fucking listen 'cause I'm not repeating it!"

Here it comes. The moment my life will change forever…

"I… I'm sorry."

I blink. Wait, what did he just say?

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm fucking sorry. I… I talked to Kenny. H-he told me you just took him out to dinner to thank him for something. He didn't tell me what for but he said to ask you. Look, I believe you now. You were never cheating on me. I… I was wrong."

He noticeably winces at those last words. He's always hated admitting he was wrong about something.

"Kyle, I know I messed up, alright? I'm a fucking douche bag. But if you want, I'd love to just forget about this stupid fight and pretend it never happened. What do you say, Jew boy?"

I feel my heart soar, and then drop again. I frown, more at myself than him. How can I just suddenly go back to him, after he accused me of something so crazy without even hearing me speak? He doesn't trust me. He proved that to me today. So why should I trust him?

Though my heart longs for him to be near me again, to hold me in his arms and kiss me once again, I just can't. He doesn't trust me. Though that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love me, I can't be sure.

I finally blink, removing myself from my thoughts for a moment so I can properly look at him again. I only realise then that I was almost glaring at him. There are a number of emotions shown on his face, most of them being confusion and hope.

I sigh, knowing what I must do though it pains me to do it. Cartman means everything to me, but if he doesn't trust me like boyfriends should, then I don't think I can go back to him. If he ever accuses me of doing anything like this again, I won't be able to handle it.

I take a silent deep breath and force myself to glare hatefully down at him, locking eyes on his.

"No!" I scream. "The answer is no! I hate you, Cartman. I can't even look at you anymore! You're a complete asshole who isn't capable of loving or trusting others. You only care about yourself and everyone hates you! I don't need you anymore! I never needed you! So why don't you just get out of here and leave me alone?"

He begins to speak but I quickly interrupt. "No, don't speak! There's nothing you can say to make this right again, Cartman. Nothing! I mean it!"

"What if I tell you I love you?" he suddenly cries, silencing me immediately.

I stare at him, my eyes widened and my glare faded. Did he just say…? No, he couldn't have. My heart and mind have joined together and are now playing tricks on me, just to hurt me that much more.

"Kyle… I love you."

My mouth drops open and I stare at him, scouting his face for any sign of a lie though it's too dark to tell.

"H-how do I know you're not lying?" I ask.

He shoots me a grin under the faded light of the moon and then runs off to the side of the house, leaving me confused.

He returns a minute later with the ladder and presses it next to my window before beginning to climb.

My heartbeat begins to accelerate quickly as I watch him climb up the ladder, every step bringing him closer to me.

He finally reaches the top and is right next to me, causing my heart to race inside my chest.

"H-hi," I greet timidly.

He smirks. "What's with the shyness, Kahl?"

I roll my eyes, not in the mood for this, and he seems to notice because his smirk is replaced by a serious look.

"Kyle, do you forgive me?" he asks softly, his gorgeous brown eyes never leaving mine.

I gaze at him, feeling tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes. "Y-yeah. I do… but…" A tear manages to escape my eye and is soon followed by more. "I… I just don't think we should get back together…"

He furrows his eyebrows, frowning, though his voice remains soft. "Kyle, we never broke up. We're still together, remember?"

I say nothing to that. What's there to say?

"So are… are you saying you _want_ to break up?" he asks, an unreadable expression on his face though his voice sounds hurt.

I visibly begin to shake at his words. Is that what I really want? Do I want to end our relationship for good? I mean, he did apologize, which is a pretty rare thing to do coming from Cartman, but he hurt me so bad. How can I just go back to him? I mean, I love him but does he really love-

_I love you, Kyle._

He said those words to me, so clearly, so seriously, no hint of a joke in his voice. He sounded so sure.

"Cartman, how do I know that you mean it when you tell me you love me?" I ask, meeting his eyes again.

He smiles my favourite smile, causing my heart to melt blissfully and a smile to unwillingly appear on my face. With his index finger, he gestures for me to come closer.

I only hesitate a moment before edging closer to him, and closer again.

When he feels I'm close enough, he leans in towards me, his lips barely an inch from mine so I can feel his warm breath on my face.

"I'll prove to you that I love you," he whispers softly. "And by the end of this, you'll believe me."

Without giving me a moment to reflect on his words, he presses his lips against mine, causing my eyes to pop open, before slowly closing.

I respond to the kiss and I feel my heart thumping wildly inside my chest while electricity shoots through my veins, causing every hint of hurt or anger or sadness to melt away, leaving only joyful bliss and love.

This kiss is so much different than all the other kisses we've shared. I've never felt so alive and ecstatic before. I can almost feel his love for me coming from his lips, and I regret every cruel word I've said to him.

We eventually have to break off before we die breathlessly and we pant quietly while our eyes stay locked.

"Do you believe me now?" he asks, grinning.

I nod and return a grin.

He smirks. "I told you you would."

I roll my eyes and laugh. He loves it when he's right. Big-headed asshole…

I smile to myself. But he's _my_ big-headed asshole, and I love him so much.

"Come inside," I say softly, noticing him start to shiver.

He starts to climb in without hesitation, eager for warmth, and I hold onto his arm tightly, fearing him fall. He manages to get inside safely and I close the window behind him.

He starts to rub his right arm and smirks. "You were really afraid I'd fall, weren't you? You were squeezing my arm so fucking tight."

I smile. "I care about you so much. I'd hate to see you fall and end up in hospital."

He chuckles, and gazes around the room, seeming to be thinking.

I raise an eyebrow and step closer to him. "What's on your mind?" I ask.

He looks at me again, a small smirk on his face. "You're such a nosy little Jew, you know that?"

I punch his arm gently and laugh. "Just tell me."

His smirk fades and he stares at me again, a look of curiosity on his face.

"Uhh… I just…" He pauses briefly before starting again. "Why _did_ you go out to dinner with Kenny?"

I blink, not expecting that, before frowning. Then I recall his proof of love moments ago and I know he trusts me. He's just curious, is all.

I smile. "Do you know what today is?"

He frowns, completely taken aback by the question. "Uh… Saturday?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, but it's a special day. Any ideas?"

When he stares blankly at me, I continue. "It's our anniversary," I tell him. "We got together exactly one year ago today."

His eyebrows shoot up suddenly and he gapes at me awkwardly. "Oh. Uh, yeah… I knew that."

I laugh. "Don't worry, Cartman. I'm not mad at you for forgetting. I did too, until Kenny told me."

Cartman furrows his eyebrows, thinking hard. "So you brought him out to dinner because he reminded you of our anniversary?"

"Not only that," I reply, grinning. "Do you remember _how_ we got together?"

He blinks and frowns, trying to think back a year ago. He sighs and shakes his head, annoyed at himself for forgetting.

"It was Kenny," I say, smiling. "Kenny got us together. He said that he knew we secretly liked each other and that we shouldn't hide it anymore. We thought he was crazy at first but then we started to realise that maybe we did secretly like each other."

"And he was right," Cartman finishes, a grin now on his face. "So you brought him out to dinner to thank him for getting us together?"

I smile and nod, delighted that he understands.

"You should have told me," he says.

"I know. I'm sorry," I reply.

He smirks briefly before capturing my lips again, surprising me. I almost instantly respond and he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him so I'm pressed right against him, our warmth being transferred to the other.

I wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

We break off for a few moments to whisper to each other.

"Happy anniversary, Kyle. I love you."

I feel my heart soar at those words and can't help smiling widely at him. "You too, Cartman."

We exchange loving smiles before pressing our lips together again, expressing the three special words 'I love you' in the form of a warm, blissful kiss.

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_**Well I hope you all enjoyed that, especially you Soul! I know your birthday was ages ago, Soul, so I'm sorry for being so late. But I hope this was worth the wait. **_

_**By the way, if any of you haven't seen on my page, I'm looking for a good beta-reader to help me improve my writing. I want my two Kyman multi-chaps stories to be good so I'd love a beta for them.**_

_**If any of you are interested and think you can help me improve, then please tell me in a review or PM. Thanks!**_

_**Also, if you could review this oneshot and tell me what you thought, then that would be great. Thank you!**_

_**Oh, and HAPPY VERY LATE BIRTHDAY, SOUL! xD**_


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